Oregon Media Insiders

Someone, another anonymous "someone," posted this revealing bit of sagaciousness in regards to another News Anchor appointment in the PDX market:

"Not to mention his NINE Emmys for local broadcast excellence, an Edward R. Murrow Award and an Iris award."

Given the state of television news, especially within the past ten years, the heaviest lifting one must do to win a local Emmy is to be smart enough to fill out the entry forms.

The broadcast business is undoubtedly the most self-congratulatory metier’ ever to make a profit (well, they used to). The idea that there are things like Emmys, Irises and Eddy Murrows demonstrates the point. While most businesses are satisfied with making the most sales, broadcasting is not happy until it pats itself on the back during each Award Season. Imagine that - there is even a self-created span of time known in the trade as "the Award Season."

Not to take anything away from Rick. He is, afterall, "not just a model." He can't "help his good genes." Heaven forbid, if we could do that, we'd all look like Shauna Parsons over at FOX-12 (fair and balanced)

If you Google the KPTV-12 website and click on the tab "Personalities", you are immediately rushed to a lengthy page featuring all the on-air talent owned and operated y FOX-12 (fair and balanced) As one would expect, there is a line-up of talented suspects stacked vertically, each smiling brilliantly. Each is accompanied by a brief description of their length of employment and area of expertise. (When one is fair and balanced, expertise is crucial)

But look again – more carefully this time. Pay careful attention to what is termed “the beauty quotient.” This nomenclature refers to the attractiveness possessed by individuals associated with the television News business, as judged by unknown management types. Scroll down the page. See if you discern the pattern.

Specifically, at the top of the page we find Shauna Parsons with this heavy-hitting bio - “Shauna moved to Portland after starting her career in Salt Lake City. She's a weeknight anchor for FOX 12 Oregon.”

This curriculum vitae is enough to instill confidence in her News gravitas. But that’s not the point. Look at Shauna again. There is no doubt that, in a fair and balanced way, she is a most attractive woman, pleasant to gaze upon and desirable in that All-American Beauty kind of way. As John Keats once noted: 'Beauty is truth, truth beauty,' - that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.

Now, continue scrolling down the page. The biographical sketches are equally revealing and engender assuredness in even the most skeptical. Again, in a fair and balanced operation like FOX-12, the acumen of the individual members of the editorial staff is not in question. But look at the last “talent” on the web page.

Here we find Joe Vithayahil and Mark Ross - perhaps two of the least comely News personalities one might ever lay eyes on. This is not to disparage the two gentlemen. No doubt they are earnest reporters caught up in the TV racket for reasons one can only guess at. Their editorial qualifications are not the point. Look at the “beauty factor.” The two most-lowly occupants of the FOX-12 (fair and balanced) personality page are, to put it bluntly, attractiveness-challenged.

Beauty is, I understand, in the eye of the beholder and I feel certain that Messers Vithayahil and Ross are deemed to be drop dead gorgeous by their wives and/or their domestic partners. In a fair and balanced world, their personal lifestyles should be no one’s concern. All that said, they still reside at the bottom of the FOX-12 Beauty Pageant. They were placed there ignominiously by someone within the FOX-12 organization. This someone made a decision based on appearances.

The self-perpetuating, self-congratulatory TV-machine grinds up and spits out those less handsome, a sad but true commentary on the business so many rely upon. Might be time for some BOTOX.